Motherhood is not for the weak

This morning we took Ty to Banner Desert for an outpatient hearing test. He had to be sedated since he refused to sit still long enough to be tested in a booth. (Multiple attempts) It was an interesting and humbling experience for many reasons.

First, I made an assumption that he would be in and out in 10 minutes like when he got his tubes. But really he was under for closer to a half an hour. Not a huge difference, but something inside me panicked just a little. It seemed like a long time to have him knocked out. When they called me back to sit by him after the procedure, my heart felt a little heavy seeing him out cold and hooked up to an IV. And I knew there was nothing wrong with him. I couldn't even fathom the heartache of having a child experience more than a few hours of this environment. I thought of Kari and Summer, whose sweet baby girls have fought and conquered cancer and a brain tumor, and my admiration for them swelled even more than before. I felt like a bit of a pansy myself.

While I was in the waiting room, I befriended a mother of a 4 year old boy who was having similar speech problems. We shared stories and techniques while her sweet little boy endured his fast much longer than Ty had to fast. I noticed a young boy who was obviously receiving chemotherapy. I offered him Ty's DVD player while we both waited, but he shyly declined. I observed his mother - weary and cheerful at the same time. I silently apologized to my Heavenly Father for complaining about my trials, Ty's trials.

When I reached Ty's bedside they told me to relax and get comfortable as it could take a half an hour for him to rouse. They explained he would have to sip a juice box and they would watch him for a half hour to make sure he didn't react to the anesthesia. Within 10 minutes Ty was awake and trying to rip his IV out. They handed him a juice box, which he guzzled within 30 seconds, and then he chugged 3 more juice boxes and inhaled package after package of saltines. The sweet nurses gave him a new hot wheels car and he played and cuddled with me until the watch was over.

The audiologist was brief. He has perfect hearing. But the process of getting those results stretched me just a bit.

Maybe I'm the one who hasn't been listening.

I get it.

The boy will talk when he's good and ready.