Carry On...

This time of year is always bittersweet. I came home from work filled with so many emotions today that I really wanted to write a few things down. Feel free to blog elsewhere if this post is too sentimental for your liking.

Today was the last day of classes with my seniors and tomorrow is graduation. Normally teachers should be excited that the school year is winding down, but I'm always a little anxious at the end. Maybe it's because half of my students are seniors and I wonder if they're ready for the real world. Did I say everything I needed to say while they were with me? Sure, we got through Shakespeare, wrote a million essays, read novels and analyzed poetry. But did I remember to squeeze in all of the important stuff? Like when one door closes, another door opens. Or that people are generally good. That the best things in life aren't things. That they are capable of doing whatever they choose, if they can just stay the course.

In first period (Senior English) we had our usual farewell activity. Craig and I broke out letters that the students had written to themselves the first day of school. We led the class in toasts (most were tearful), and applauded them for finishing this leg of their journey. We presented each senior with a soundtrack from English class, a long standing tradition. I'm always a little sentimental, but this year I had to say goodbye to my long time friend and team teacher Craig in addition to saying goodbye to the students. Second period (Multicultural Lit) took their finals, then we celebrated with grilled cheese sandwiches and reminisced about our favorite moments in class. Like the time when Tony said "This is how legends are made!" to which I responded, "what are you talking about?" He replied, "Writing an essay when I don't feel like it, and watching it turn into something I'm proud of. I'm a legend!" (Picture a stereotypical jock that has had little academic prowess in school.)

Maybe this all sounds a little trite to an outsider. But I have never had any doubt in my mind that teaching was my calling in life. Since becoming a mother, I've developed a love/hate relationship for my job. I truly LOVE my students and usually leave school each day feeling satisfied that I did something important. I just hate being away from Ty. As my career is coming closer to a close, at least temporarily, I have such mixed emotions. I cannot wait to be home when Ty wakes up in the morning, feed him breakfast myself, and be able to take him to playgroups and other morning activities. On the other hand, I can't imagine not teaching. After 8 years at Mesa, I consider it my second home and my students are an extension of my family. I signed another contract for next year since Trent still has a few months of school left and needs time to study for boards. Again, mixed emotions...half of me hoping this year would be my last, half of me afraid to walk away from a job that has given me wings to fly.

Watching a few of my favorite people retire or move on to other things, I know that my time in the classroom is winding down too. Whether it's one more semester, or a full year, I know I don't have much longer to go. I'm so thankful to be in a profession that leaves lasting impressions. I guarantee I haven't been everyone's favorite teacher, but I know I've reached a few. I figure that so far, I've had at least 500 students sit in my classroom. I've taught Health, American History, Economics, Government, Sophomore English, Junior English, Senior English and MC Lit. But no matter what subject I taught, I hope I taught them something more...something that really matters. As for me, I've got to get ready to Carry On on my own and transfer my teaching energy into my favorite and most important students, my own children. Here's to the journey...