This cute boy gave his first talk in primary today. His daddy helped him talk about the "pwophet". The microphone wasn't working so I don't think anyone but his teacher (2 feet in front of him) heard anything. But it was still cute. He practiced a few times before we left for church and did a great job. Trent and I were both surprised that he was assigned a talk. But I am so grateful that the women in charge of primary treat him the same as the other kids. Last summer when Ty was diagnosed with ASD, his pediatrician (who also has a high functioning son with ASD) warned me not to put limitations on Ty. It was the best advice I have ever received.
One of the young men in our ward gave an outstanding talk today as he prepares to enter the mission field for our church this week. (He is going to Madagascar! Holy cow!) I try not to play the "what if" game anymore, but I found myself wondering if Ty will be able to serve a mission. No doubt he will be able to complete a service mission locally, but I'm not sure if he'll qualify to serve a full time mission - should he have that desire. Thoughts like that used to dishearten me almost instantly, but I've gotten a little better at filtering the doubt and focusing on the hope.
This last week, Ty's new in home therapist was watching me negotiate with Ty to put his socks on by himself. She pointed out that I had pretty high expectations as most brand new 4 year olds can't perform that task without a little help. I sheepishly said, "oh" and relented - but just a little. I'm constantly trying to find a balance.
My latest goal in our journey with Ty is a little selfish. I have realized that in the last few years of evaluations/doctors/therapists/tight schedules I have become fairly withdrawn and sometimes I'm just so exhausted from the intense routine we keep that I have fallen out of any social circles I once belonged to. I totally related to this post from a blog I follow even though our children's struggles are different. Though I don't blame anyone but myself, I'm sad that maybe I've lost a few friends along this road - mostly because I couldn't keep up with the activities and eventually felt out of the loop. Now that we've been in our new home for a year, I'm starting to feel more settled, I've made some friends, and I'm trying harder to be proactive in nurturing my own friendships. I'm a little sad for the times I've missed out in the past few years, but life is a learning curve and I'm still learning how to create balance in my life. I'm not sure I could have changed it any sooner than right now anyway.
One things is certain, I am grateful for good friends who have stood the test of time. Whether it's phone dates, facebook messages, or texts and emails, I am grateful for those who act on that thought we get when we are reminded of an old friend.
6 comments:
Good for Ty! Such a handsome young man. You guys are doing a great job and are so loved!
Glad we were able to hang out for a bit on Friday. Don't feel like you are losing friends, I think life gets busy for all peolpe with kids & we forget to do things for ourselves every now & then. Good friends are ones who can go for unintended long spells w/out talking or hanging out and we can pick up right where we left off. You are a good friend!!
What a cute man in this picture. He looks a lot like Trent! I completely agree with what you said. I have had so many of the same feelings. I think what happens is when we all become Moms, we get into our own routines (even those crazy times with multiple therapies) and life gets just plain busy with our own lives. But know that I love you and even if we get to only chat for a few minutes once in a while, I still totally adore you...just like I did when we first met back in summer school. I still remember what you were wearing too! :-) Love you Rach!
ARGH! those darn microphones- thats what happened to Braden during his talk- i was VERY annoyed- he was so excited:) oh well
you are a great mom- give yourself a little credit:)
I don't even know if Tyson puts on his own socks or not. Up until a couple weeks ago, I was still dressing him for the day. He's been dressing himself lately...usually his pants are backwards, but I don't know about socks...I'll be paying more attention, now. : )
I think it's good to have high expectations for Ty, even with ASD, because he's rising to the occasion. He's a go-getter kind of kid. You're doing the right thing. Just remember to recognize the small achievements along the way, to encourage you as you work towards the high expectations.
HUGS!
I'd still like to be included on your list of friends... I miss you.
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