Thanks for the comments from those of you following our adventures with Ty. Normally I don't care if I get a lot of comments from readers, but it's been a stressful time with my sweet boy and I appreciate the cheerleading and support!
We had a phone conference with the school's senior Occupational Therapist and the grim truth was disappointing. With their evaluation tool, a score of 85 is considered average or normal. A child has to score a 77 or below to qualify for OT services. Without doing a full blown evaluation, the OT plugged in Ty's skill abilities and came up with a score of 79. She wants to wait until the fall to perform the official evaluation because by then he will be an "older 3" and his score is more likely to decline to a 77. Since they still measure a child's age by months instead of years, the longer we wait, the better chance he has to fall behind his peers and qualify for help. Isn't that just backwards? But we have to play their game to get the help. Since school will be out in six weeks I've decided to back down for now, but I guaranteed her that once the first week of school was over this fall, I'd be knocking on their doors asking them to start the evaluation process.
In the meantime I spoke with my family doctor/pediatrician this morning and he has referred us to a neuropsychiatrist who specializes in assessing the needs of delayed children. It will probably take us a few months to get a turn with her, but I can use all the documentation I can get right now.
I'm learning that my role as Ty's mom is two sided. While I have to be persistent and unwavering enough to fight for Ty's needs, I also need to do a better job at giving people the benefit of the doubt. I need to let my friends, neighbors and even our families see Ty at his best and his worst and learn to love him for who he is, giving them the opportunity to be patient and accepting. I get so anxious trying to make sure he behaves at all times and I also become defensive when people react (with facial expressions or with comments) when he is misbehaving. He's 3. He's going to have melt downs regardless of his additional circumstances.
Keep your fingers crossed we hear good news from the state next week! And thanks again for the love you've been sending our way.
The boy
The girl
The baby
We Believe
6 comments:
Love you all! And you know that I will always have your back. :)
I'm glad you are realizing these things. Even during the short time I was at your house, I felt like you were apologizing for him and he behaved great! You just need to relax and let people see him for the great kid he is. If people give you snide comments and looks--that's their problem, not yours. (Easier said than done, I know!) Maybe I've just seen Ty at his best, but honestly, I doubt his worse is as bad as you think it is! Keep your chin up!
Sounds like you've put a lot of prayer into this. It sounds like an excellent plan.
seriously i had to leave the gym because vance had hurt a kid. 3 year olds are tough all the way around. shoot KIDS are tough and i think being a mom is HARD! i feel like i do the same with apologizing or worrying how he's going to act.
i realize that your situation is different, but hang in there. you sound like you have a plan, that's good.
Your blog is so cute, and love the music. I thought it was funny in one of your earlier posts that you said a backyard is good for a marriage. I can totally see that even though people usually focus on how it's a good thing for the family as a whole or the kids.
If it makes you feel better, Tyson doesn't draw pictures, either. They're usually just lines. It may be that Ty doesn't like drawing. Some of the things you mentioned are definitely things I didn't notice about him, like the slouching, and stuff. It makes me wonder what it'll be like as he grows, if maybe he'll grow out of some of the things or if they'll be there even when he's a teenager. From what I've seen, Rachel, he's a cute kid, and a good kid, and you're a fantastic mom who is doing a great job trying to make sure all of his needs get met. Way to be! TTYL
I think you're a wonderful mother, Rachel. You're children are sweet and beautiful. Things will work out for Ty. He's got an awesome mom on his side.
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